what the fuck are you good for? I VE ALREADY GOT AN OVER. o what you can heat up precooked food? WHO THE FUCK WANTS HORRID PRECOOKED FOOD?!?
not me, not you, maybe your stepdad who watches match of the day repeats from 1980 and uses bbqs to get drunk in the garden. FUCK THAT GUY, I DONT WANNA BE THAT GUY. so fuck you microwave. you're making us all lazy and stupid and making fat guys in gardens get drunk. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR NAME ABOUT TOO? you're named after what you make. it's like calling an over a "fire". DO PEOPLE JUST NOT CARE ABOUT YOU ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU A PROPER NAME? didn't think so. probably cos people all round the world are using you to kill cute kittens!!! Ill go preheat a big fat juicy FUCK YOU now in my proper oven.
SERIOUSLY MAN, YOUR NAMES FUCKING GAY FOR A START. nice one mr and mrs goddard. yeah i assumed your parents were married. takes 2 idiots to come up with a name that shit. ON TOP OF THAT YOUR PSEUDO INTERLECTUAL PHILISOPHICAL DEBATE ABOUT PERCEPTION WAS FOUNDED IN IGNORANCE. GO FUCK A TREE AND LEARN SOME PARTICLE PHYSICS
"I have crazy bum secks with men but in gods eyes im a virgin :) ive never touched a woman :P."
TRY TO BULLSHIT ME A CHRIS? TRY TO GUILT TRIP ME USING DEAD PEOPLE? WELL TRY HARDER. In conclusion FUCK YOU
hey man, you're looking good today... and everyday BECAUSE YOU HAVE GOOD BONE STRUCTURE AND A SYMMETRICAL FACE AND A GREAT COMPLEXION, YOU DOUCHE. I just want you to know everything you ever get or achieve in life isn't cos you're good at shit. you probably suck cos you don't work enough and spend 80% of your time staring in mirrors and/or moisturising. no... it's cos of a little cognitive bias called the "halo effect". every1 will treat u gooood cos you're a "babe" and so "funny/interesting". YOU'RE NOT. FUCK YOU
o and i was planning to link to a fight club vid of jared leto getting the shit kicked out of him (reasons i enjoy this above) BUT NO, FOX HAD TO GO CLAIM COPYRIGHT AND PISS ALL OVER THE CENTRE PIECE OF MY POST. you know what fox? WHY DON'T YOU GO FIST YOUR TWO DADS AGAIN. YOU GUYS CALL IT "BITCH JUGGLING". what i've used a dad joke in another post? DO YOU OWN THE COPYRIGHTS TO THAT TOO FOX? fuccccccck you. instead here's an interpretation of a picture of dorian gray. HERE'S WHAT OSCAR WILDE OR WHOEVER WROTE IT THOUGHT YOU HEDONISTIC "BEAUTIES" LOOKED LIKE ON THE INSIDE. maybe i ll get a knife and verify. o and want me to give the artist credit. WHY DONT U FUCK OFF?
1 - thank you porn for ruining womens expectations. the look of strange despondency on their faces when they see a normal shaped penis is a festish of mine
2 - thank you porn for warping my sense of right and wrong in the bedroom. if she cries it's because she is a shit whore and shouldn't be paid.
3 - thank you porn for making regular sex and all women seem mundane and boring for me. Feeling happy and special is for mythical beings who don't use the internet to vent.
4 - thank you porn for taking up 30-50% of my free time. productivity and vibrance is for losers, i just need to sit in the dark on the internet to get my buzz
5 - thank you porn for killing my innocence. without you i'd probably not feel this searing hatred towards all things
FUCK YOU WHORES. IF YOU DIDNT ACCEPT MONEY IN EXCHANGE FOR BEING FUCKED ON CAMERA WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION. dirtbag scum. tell it to 'em kassem (you're a cunt too though)
the very best thing about porn is that when i surf youtube and think "wonder what she's like naked" i can probably in 0.18 seconds find 1-10 of 446,000 internet links to them doing things that would give my gran a heart attack (if the bitch had a heart... a fiver for my birthday, FUCK YOU). o and WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL!! (accept for chicks, but i dont give a shit about them thanks to porn)
DON'T ACCEPT MY FACEBOOK THEN WILL YOU? LAUGH AT ME WILL YOU?
well FUCK YOU. i didn't even want you on facebook, i only add people to jerk off to their pics and YOU'RE NOT UP TO MY NORMAL STANDARDS. what? i'm creepy and perverted? NO UR JUST UGLY AND ANNOYING AND YOUR HAIR MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU'RE CONSTANTLY WEARING A SCARF
U need to get laid or something. Just ask your two dads to do it. im sure theyll help you out.
too far? NO, FUCK YOU! EVEN THIS CAT FUCKING HATES YOU.
what you saw that pic like a year ago on lolcats? FUCK U NERD
nice hoody, might try it on... O WAIT. IT'S 38 GREEN QUEENS!??
IT'S BEEN WASHED IN FUCKING BLEECH TOO, SURELY U CAN GIVE ME A DISCOUNT! no? WELL FUCK YOU
seriously who are you kidding american apparel? you sold out to the man.
the man being douchebags who dress at jack wills and suck a lot of dick yah, and 14 year olds who spend a years pocket money on a fucking jacket. ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE MONEY OFF KIDS "AMAPPY", WHERE'S YOUR ETHICS. TAKING MONEY OF LITTLE WHITE KIDS AND GIVING IT TO MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS? how could you. what? that's fair it's redistribution of wealth? YOU SOCIALISTS. I HOPE GLEN BECK KILLS YOU ALL. also who the fuck does that model think he is? just cos your modelling and good looking doesnt mean you have to make me look back does it?! ASSHOLE
i have to work till im 65? are you kidding me, that's ages away. and labour, under your plan MY WIFE DOESN'T? where the fuck's the fairness there, statistically she'll live longer. FUCK U BROWN
SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK CAMERON, HE'S GOOD IN BED
ok god, so wtf is up with aging? you get ugly and stupid with age. you become a retarded prune who slobbers and watches the one show? WHY!??? WHY?
I DONT WANT A WRINKLY PENIS, I WANNA DIE YOUNG AND SMOOTH. TOO MUCH TO ASK???
Yeah and don't just say "die young then" smart aleck. Cause i count that as a threat AND I'LL STAPLE YOUR FACE TO YOUR BALLS
don't forget to leave comments, if you're old you probably will. if you find this offensive YOU'RE A WRINKLY DICKED IDIOT (what's that? you want a warning before inappropriate material like that link? WELL FUCK YOU)
so http://www.fupenguin.com/; think i stole your style of writing and irrational annoyance of a subject but broadened/ degraded it? think i'm unoriginal and not very funny... WELL IF YOU'D JUST READ THIS BLOG AND STOP BEING MORE POPULAR THAN ME YOU WOULD. what you've never heard of me or this blog so haven't had a chance? WELL I DONT GIVE ASSHOLES LIKE YOU THE CHANCE "matthew gasteiter" BY THE WAY YOUR NAMES STUPID AND HARD TO PRONOUNCE. have fun making money off of idiots with your book while i laugh at you. dick
think because you are hot and single that you can just sing beyonce and i can't?! WELL SCREW YOU, ME AND THIS KID ARE GUNNA DO IT ANYWAY
what? we look gay? HOMOPHOBIC BITCH, YOU'RE JUST SOUR BECAUSE YOUR PENIS DIDN'T DEVELOP AND BECAME A CLIT. YEAH YOU HEARD ME, NOW PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME IM VERY LONELY
"KID AT HEART"
wanna pound on this fggt so hard
WHAT'S THAT? YOU THINK THAT SOUNDS GAY. FUCK YOU
put the gameboy away and get a fucking job
LOOK AT ME
Hey there...WAIT FUCK YOU! THINK COS UR HOT I LL JUST GAWPE AND NOT CALL U A COMPLETE BITCH/A-HOLE
U GOT ANOTHER THING COMING, UR WORSE THAN GAMEPRICK UP THERE WITH YOUR ATTENTION SEEKING WAYS
u are immensly hot though
pls go out with me
sencirely, steve
what? I CAN'T SPELL AND YOU'RE NOT A BITCH/A-HOLE... well fuck you anyway
hey look im entrylevel
OK BITCH, THINK COS I CANT SEE UR FACE I WONT CALL U UGLY
HAH
you got another thing coming, cos my hate isn't founded in fact or rationality bitch, now go back to reading about the newest shit indie band and flicking your bean to alex turner before i throw you out the window
